Bruce Lee Vs. Chuck Norris

Watching Bruce Lee kick Chuck Norris all over the Roman Coliseum.  "Chuck Norris gained immortality through Bruce Lee's tears."  "Don't worry, he'll rise again after 3 days."  "It is Friday right?"

Money in the Bank

As I was getting money from an ATM...

Connor, "I wish I could do that"

Me,"Well, when you're older and have a job making your own money, you can."

Connor,"I meant use your credit card."

When you're smiling . . . .

Connor's insight for the day:
You know how people always say they're laughing with you? Wouldn't that actually require YOU to be laughing, too?

Girl Problems

Ian was upset because a girl he liked didn't feel the same way and told him so.  He was saying that it seemed to happen all the time. 

Trying to be helpful Dad, "I know this sounds dumb, but like they say in sales - Every no you get, means you are that much closer to a yes.  It's just a numbers game."

Ian," Given my grade in math, this isn't going to be easy."

Funny, But

Connor wanted to use the computer downstairs to play a game.  It's password protected, and has been for some time, much to his dismay.  So I said, "Sure, let me give you the pass code so I don't have to go downstairs."  He perked up all ears.  And I said, "Nah, I'm just kidding."

Connor says,"Getting up people's hopes and then breaking their spirit - funny.  Cruel, but funny."

Alabama v. Georgia

Our pediatrician graduated from the University of Alabama.  I graduated from UGA.  So every time the kids go, and especially when I'm not the one to take them, he always tells them to say "Roll Tide" when they see me.  He finds this funny. 

So yesterday, I took Collin to see him and while I was there, Dr. Murphy asked him what books he liked to read.  Collin said the ones with the stuff in them - he's just learning to read and likes the pop out books.  Then as Dr. Murphy was leaving he said, "Tell Dad, 'Roll Tide'" Collin said, "Go Dogs Go!"  The Doc laughed and left the room.  After he was out, Collin looked at me and said,"What's funny?  He asked me what books I like."  I just hugged him and smiled.

McDonald

Currently McDonald's restaurants are running a commercial featuring Spaceman Stew.

Ian,"Sounds like something an Alien would eat."  "What's for dinner tonight, Mom?"  "Spaceman stew."  "Oh not again!  Tell me it was still in the crunchy shell, I hate them when they're nothing but mush."